Defining Self Worth
This week I've had some really eye-opening and inspiring conversations focused on self growth. I talked about wellness, money, perspective among other topics. However, the conversation that seemed to keep popping up was centered around Self Worth. My loved ones and I explored the variety of ways in which we, as people, may diminish our value because of surface level imperfections. We also considered how we came to create value systems in reference to who, what or how we are. Lastly, we decided how we were to value ourselves moving forward.
My definition of Self Worth is the amount of confidence or level of conviction one has about who they are and who they can be to others and to themselves. For example, maybe you're very confident in the fact that you are a timely person. No matter who, what or where - you will be at an event or occasion on time or 5 minutes early. Another example would be someone who may have a strong level of conviction about being an honest person. No matter how embarrassing or shameful the truth may be - you'll tell it. As you may see (if not, keep reading) Self Worth is based on Self and the value that Self adds. So how do you get to the point of being able to make these declarations without a shadow of a doubt? Well, the answer sounds much simpler than the action it requires - observe your Self.
We all experience different versions of this life. Maybe you were the football star or lead cheerleader in high school. Maybe you were even the valedictorian of your graduating class in college. What happens when you get to the real world full of bills, a career, less support from an institutional structure and distance between your friends and classmates? You set out on a journey to redefine yourself and find the ways in which you produce value in this new version of life. More often than not, we make the mistake of defining that value by how much money we have in the bank or by the salary we've been promised by our employers. We see some of our friends getting high salary jobs straight out of college, others that start families and some that inherit a fortune from their family and start their own business. Comparison begins to creep in. We ask why we aren't further along, why we don't have a spouse, and maybe even why we're trying to do anything at all. While on these trains of thought we seem to forget that our value begins from the inside.
When you start becoming curious about your personal Self Worth, or if you simply need a reminder, remember this. Your value is whatever you want it to be. Other people may share their ideas and opinions (even when they aren't so great) about who you are in relation to yourself and the world, but at the end of the day it's completely up to you to decide where your value truly comes from and create it on a regular basis. You can be valuable because you have extensive knowledge about a certain topic, or because you have unnaturally comforting and nurturing energy. You can be valuable because you have an incomparable ability to communicate or because you have such an infectious personality. Value is found in your gifts - and we all have at least one (even if you don't think so).
I was able to begin realizing my own value when I surrounded myself with people that recognized and were confident in their own. When we stay around people that are unsure or doubtful, their energy transmits onto us and causes us to think and feel similarly. Sometimes it even becomes unfriendly and/or harmful competition. Getting to a point where we can step away from those holding us back to find those that catapult us forward is when we'll begin to notice our light. Let your light be your guide. When you notice yourself feeling as light as a cloud when you're with certain friends or family, make a note to hang around them more. When you feel a sense of relief in certain environments - seek more of them out. When you catch yourself smiling while doing an activity, be sure to mark it on your calendar regularly. Listen to your Self and follow the path of least resistance.
