Finding Presence in the Present
So, we spoke last week about Feeling Lost in the Sauce. If you haven't read it yet, I suggest that you read that first then come back here because it has a lot to do with what we'll discuss this week. I'm now assuming that if you've made it this far you've read last week's post and in that case - remember when we talked about "finding stillness"? In stillness we settle into the present moment. We see this the most through meditation. When we meditate (if we meditate), we encourage our bodies to slow down and take in our current environment. This practice is helpful with developing your spatial and self awareness. If this is to be true, how do we incorporate this into our lives on a larger scale? Let's get into it.
First, let's go deeper into why finding our presence is necessary. Thinking too far ahead creates stress and looking too far back causes anxiety. In order to practice and invite more balance into our lives, we need to stay alert and aware of what we're thinking about. In meditation we call this observing our thoughts. We need to become and sustain the role of an observer. This helps us to master our decision making skills around what thoughts do and do not deserve our attention and energy. Once we're able to consistently observe our thoughts, free of judgement, we can then begin to strengthen the muscle of working with our emotions as opposed to working against them. Just as we observe our thoughts, we can also observe how we feel and decide what to do in response - emphasis on the word response. More often than not, we find ourselves reacting to our emotions instead of taking a beat to register what they are and where they come from and then offering an efficient response. The difference lies in our results. Reacting to our emotions may look like cursing someone out because we're frustrated, yelling at a loved one because we're upset, giving someone the finger because they pissed us off in traffic and so on. When we take a step back and truly observe what we're feeling, we can then give ourselves (and others) exactly what is needed. Maybe we need some alone time when we're upset, and in response to that emotion we can then communicate our needs to those around us to exemplify that 1) we understand what we're feeling and 2) we can help others to understand what we need in any given moment. Lastly, once we've observed what's going on within ourselves, we can then pay attention to what's happening outside of ourselves. When we make it to this point, we aren't as sensitive to other's opinions, it becomes harder to knock us off our square and we feel more in control over what happens in our lives because we're able to take so much responsibility over ourselves.
This process requires presence. If you're always 5 years in the past or thinking 10 years ahead - you miss out on pertinent information that can help guide you. If we're always in the know about what we have going on within us, the outside world becomes less important. The job isn't as stressful, the annoying neighbor or sibling isn't so annoying, and disappointing news doesn't disappoint you as much. This isn't to say that things become less important, but, as we learn to be less reactive to our emotions and instead gain a better understanding of our experience, we can better prescribe what is necessary in any given situation.
Finding your stillness or practicing presence may be intimidating at first, but start small. Take 5 minutes when you wake up or before bed to meditate. Keep practicing until you can meditate for longer periods of time. The rest will come in time. Time is your most valuable asset. The more you give yourself, the better your life can be.
