In Ministry… Embracing the No’s

Just the other day, I was on the phone with my Aunt and we shared a moment in prayer. Shortly after, she sent me a sermon posted on YouTube that she listened to a few days prior. This was the first of many sermons/ faith-based content pieces that I digested in the next 24 hours.

After watching a few videos, I came across one that featured a pastor I hadn’t heard of before - Robert Madu. The title of the sermon caught my attention, “I’m Annoyed".” It perfectly summed up all the emotions I had been feeling the past week. So of course, I clicked it. Little did I know how much I needed the message - and all the other messages I had listened to up until this one. The lesson that resonated most with me during Madu’s sermon was to “embrace and be thankful for the no’s.” Madu said that regardless of a yes or a no, it is direction nonetheless.

I had reached a place where I felt like my efforts fell upon deaf ears, that my care had been ignored and that my momentum had come to a halt. However, there was something inside of me that challenged me to see beyond my current experience.

At a later date, I’ll share how 2022 has been the year that has strengthened my faith and reminded me that God sees me. For now, I’ll just say that in this moment, of what felt like defeat, I was able to hold on to my belief that me and all my experiences were seen and accounted for by a power much greater than any human being.

I’m the type of person that likes reassurance - whether it be from the words of a loved one or signs from my experience. I like to know that I’m on the “right” track and doing the “right” things to get me where I want to be. So in moments where those signs seem fewer and farther between or when my loved ones are too busy with their own lives to recognize or speak to my progression, what do I do? Where does my motivation to continue come from? I sought out reassurance from others to no avail. I either couldn’t receive them or I wasn’t received how I’d hoped. I looked for signs and didn’t see any.

From my last blog post, you know that I’m working on limiting my expectations of others and creating more standards for myself. Here’s a quick update - it’s still a challenge. However, this situation in particular strongly encouraged me to set a standard for myself.

I was able to participate and thrive in the season of recognition and celebration, but I needed to learn how to excel in the season of stillness and silence. What I’m learning is that the season of stillness and silence is just as beautiful as the season of celebration, but it requires more time to myself. I need the stillness to rest and revitalize. I need the silence to hear what is required of me in the season to come and to reflect on the seasons that have passed. Ironically enough, in my reflection I have found successes and in turn have been able to celebrate.

What I thought was a moment of defeat was actually a moment to embrace all that has happened thus far. In a world of “hustle culture”, where we are made to believe that every moment of every day has to be used to work ourselves into the ground, we forget that moments to rest are equally (if not more) important. I avoided the stillness because I wanted to keep pushing and keep going hard and continue celebrating. I quickly realized and accepted that what I wanted in the moment wasn’t for me to have just yet. I was being denied of what I wanted and led to what was good for me.

In the end, after all the sermons, prayer, emotions and reflection, I was able to take inventory of what I had plenty of and what I needed more of. I was able to observe the areas within myself where I had opportunities to grow and notice areas where I was excelling. I was able to reassure myself that I was doing the “right” things not because of what someone else thought but because of the joy it naturally gave me.

The celebration and recognition - or the “yeses” - are fun and exciting and will always be necessary. Let’s not forget that the stillness and silence - or the “no’s” - are equally as necessary because they direct us to what we need as opposed to what we want. Embrace the “no”. Enjoy the silence. Rest in stillness.